Very Leetle Mountain (GLOG Class)

This should be all the context you need

A: Geological

B: Very Leetle Birds, Very Leetle Landslide, Size Increase

C: Very Leetle People, Size Increase

D: Very Leetle Eruption, Size Increase

Geological

You are a somewhat pathetic mountain: two feet tall and about 260 pounds, dragged along the ground by thousands of tiny legs (as all mountains are) at half standard walking speed. You have no hands, but can communicate (slowly) by vibrating.

You are automatically hit by all attacks, and cannot wear armor. However, you are immune to poison, disease, most fire, and other things that wouldn't affect a rock. You take half damage from physical threats (claws, swords, etc).

Every template, your height & width increase by 1 foot, and your mass increases proportionately.

B Template: 3 feet tall, ~900 pounds

C Template: 4 feet tall, ~2000 pounds

D Template: 5 feet tall, ~4000 pounds

Very Leetle Birds

A swarm of birds, each about the size of a gnat, have started to live atop your peak. You can politely ask them to do things for you. Together, they can lift 5 pounds.

Very Leetle Landslide

You can sacrifice HP to do an equal amount of damage to a target if the target is either shorter than you or below you. This does not require a roll to-hit. 

Very Leetle People

A village has been built in your foothills. Together, all the villagers can lift as much as a human, build as quickly, and otherwise be treated as a single human. It would be polite to warn them before a landslide.

Very Leetle Eruption

You can sacrifice HP to do an equal amount of damage to a 30' radius, and cover the area in lava, if the area is below you. Of course, I expect there are many other things you could do with lava.

VERY HEAVY CUBE (GLOG Class)

Note: this class is bad and i've remade it here. Don't read that, read this.

Inspired partially by this video, but the blame should be placed on deus ex parabola on the OSR Discord.

Very Heavy Cube Owner

Weapons technology marches onwards forever. In your case, the march of progress got lost in a dark alley. The cube has its benefits, you desperately think to yourself - it's much quieter than a gun, and it's not stopped by armor.

These justifications do not stop anyone from laughing at your cube.

A: THE CUBE

B: Cube-Sight, Increased Range

C: Cube-Cleave

D: Engraved Cube

THE CUBE

Your body is covered in a prototype Kinesis Suit. In theory, you should be able to use the suit to telekinetically grab people and objects. In practice, the suit only works on materials made of a specific alloy - for instance, your Cube. You cannot wear any armor while wearing the Kinesis Suit.

On your turn, you can use the Kinesis Suit to move the Cube. The Cube moves at 100 feet per round, but it can only be controlled if it stays within a 50 foot radius of you. When it comes in contact with someone during it's movement, roll to-hit with a -2 penalty. On a hit, the target takes 3d6 damage. The Cube stops moving after hitting something.

Cube-Sight

You wake up one morning and start seeing through the Cube. Everything is red - it hungers to kill. You can switch between seeing through the Cube's eyes and your own.

Increased Range

The lights on the Kinesis Suit have all turned red. If you're very quiet, you can hear them crying as you move the Cube. The radius you can control the Cube increases to 100 feet.

Cube-Cleave

The Cube's hunger is increasing. When the Cube kills something, the 100 foot distance it can move resets, letting it move 100 feet from this location. It does not stop after hitting something. If you squint, you can see a mouth starting to grow on its surface.

You cannot wield any weapons - the Cube will not accept them.

Engraved Cube

The Cube has been covered in grotesque engravings, and glows with a pulsing red light. Inside, you can see a dark shape. The Cube speaks to you when you sleep - it is but an egg, for the Flayed God who will rise, kill the world, and drown in blood. The Cube offers a gift, for a price. If the Cube kills 333 people, it will hatch, and you will ascend with it, to be the only god that survives this cataclysm.

The Cube deals 6d6 damage per strike.

Robert Orzol

Ghost Ship to Planet Transylvania

Happy Halloween!
whispering from offstage
Happy... Septemberween?

Ghost Ship to Planet Transylvania is a collaborative effort between me and John Rattlemayne, following a challenge from the ever-productive glog-ghetto of the OSR Discord. It's an 11-page stealth dungeon/pointcrawl thing set on Dracula's coffin-ship, with plenty of original art from Rattlemayne, a wonderfully garish layout (also by Rattlemayne) and exactly 1,459 and 1/3 words, by us both.

Click on the inviting hands and faces of the Chief Engineer and his Assistant to grab the pdf for yourself, and be filled with unnameable horror for all eternity!

Advanced Skeleton-ing

why did i write this

Welcome to Richard's Half-Price Necropolis

All the Skeleton, Half the... uh. 

hooray...

 Here at Richard's, we milk bad jokes for all they're worth have everything for your skeleton-based needs!

Think skeletons are just too stupid on their own? We sell Psionic Skeletons - 100% organic Illithid brain-paste stuck to the inside of the skull for maximum effectiveness! Make your enemies marvel at the inefficiency of raising a brainless form only to put another brain in it!

The main advantage of skeletons is the cargo space! Beehive Skeletons make the most of it by wedging angry bees into the ribcage, for excellent area denial!

All this sounding too natural? Move up the tech-tree a bit to whatever-punk with Flamethrower Skeletons! Use up all that empty space with volatile fuel tanks! Even in death they burn with anger! (and also fire).

Don't want fire around your houseplants? Try Electric Skeletons - wires connected to the arms and legs make each attack shockingly powerful!

HARNESS THE POWER

make it stop

That was amazingly bad. As penance, have some stats for the utter nonsense I've created.

Exceptionally Average Skeleton
HD: 1
AC: 10

Attacks
Whack: 1d6 damage
Arm Throw: 1d4 damage + Grapple

Psionic Skeleton
HD: 1
AC: 10

Telekinetic Field: Arrows are at -2 to hit. Missed arrows are redirected at the Psionic Skeleton's enemies.

Attacks
Whack: 1d6 damage
Telekinetic Shove: A human-sized target within 50' is thrown backwards 30', taking 1d4 damage per 10' traveled. Throwing a creature at another target requires the Psionic Skeleton to make a successful attack roll against the target of the throw. If the roll is successful, both characters take 1d6 damage per 10' of travel. 1/day


Beehive Skeleton 
HD: 1
AC: 10

Eyes of the Swarm: The Beehive Skeleton sees through the eyes of its bees. 

Attacks
Whack: 1d6 damage
BEES: Bees swarm around your head, blinding you.
The Hive: The Beehive Skeleton tears out its beehive and throws it up to 30'. A 10' radius around the hive is filled with enraged bees, blinding and dealing 1d4 damage per turn to everyone inside the radius. They relax after 1d6 turns.

Flamethrower Skeleton
HD: 1
AC: 12

Volatile: If critically hit, the Flamethrower Skeleton explodes (as Fireball).

Attacks
Whack: 1d6 damage
Flamethrower: As Burning Hands

Electric Skeleton
HD: 1
AC: 13

Conduction: Melee attacks against the Electric Skeleton conduct electricity into the attacker, dealing 1d4 damage.

Attacks  
Electric Whack: 1d8 damage, CON save or stun
Whip: 1d4 damage, CON save or stun, ranged